9 First Date Red Flags - First Date Warning Signs!

Right, first date can be tricky. Some may have gone through an amazing dating experience and suddenly decided to get married right after the first date. Heh. The truth is, the first date is nothing more like a fantasy. We (women) and men will act as someone she or he desire. It can be overwhelming, really. You feel that butterflies in your stomach and oh, you’re flying.

But wait, please don't tell me you are marrying that guy you just met. You need to watch out these small red flags before you go deeper with this guy. What are they? Let's do some checklist girl! We are in this together!

1. HE DESIRE SOMEONE WHO CAN "COOK"

Especially when the guy who approached you last weekend was so cute, you did anything to impress the guy. Even worse, he tells you he likes girl who are good at cooking like "his mother". What happens next is, you brag about your cooking skills to the whole world hoping he would be impressed, but what if his “talented mother” is a chef, how can you beat that? Haha that can be so exhausting–competing with his mother. Fine, she is not a chef. So do you. Slaving yourself over a home-cooked five-star meal is telling him that he is going to use you emotionally easily by comparing you with anyone. But, if you cook a fancy dinner for him after 2–5 years putting up with your bullshit, it is called a great reward and he deserves it.

2. HE likes you because you're happy go lucky

And he said he feels better and happy when he is with you. If he tells you this then you're better off without him. Because we all are human being, we feel happy, sad and angry. The next day you are upset with a small issue because you have PMS, he will run away from you. Anyway,  if a guy tells you this then this means, he is immature and still a kid who likes to go to the circus every weekend. Period.

3. insist on ordering your food or drinks

This is a red flag even if you state that you can order for yourself or you find it endearing, cute, or maybe even romantic. In reality, it could definitely be a sign of a controlling person. Yes if you are not careful, you will eat whatever he suggests to you. If he insists on ordering and bringing food for you after asking for your favorites then it’s okay, he’s willing to help.

4. criticizes anyone

Especially on the first date, if your date spends your time together ripping others to shreds, making fun of others with extreme criticisms—whether it’s parents, siblings, friends, neighbors, bosses, or coworkers, you may be on a date with a narcissist. They are everywhere and they all look cute too. 

5. overdoes the romance

When you meet for the very first time and they just seem to be too good to be true, they probably are. It might seem romantic, but better watch out if they start giving you gifts, complimenting you to the extreme, becoming way too affectionate too early. This tactic is called love bombing. When you haven’t built any foundation yet to your relationship but they are already treating you as if you are the love of their life, they are, in fact, lulling you into a false sense of security. It is not sweet, it's indeed scary.

6. immediately wants to meet your mom

Confidence and friendliness is attractive, but if your date is acting too familiar with your friends, wants to meet your mom on your second date with him, or is immediately adding you to social networks, then you might be facing a glaring red flag around their ability to understand social norms and boundaries.

7. men with no effort

This might look something like, ‘I used to be in such good shape, I used to be that, but then this and this and this happened to me.’ It shows a lack of commitment. He will feed you "excuses" all the time.

8. suddenly a fashion style expert

Have you ever met someone who suddenly tells you what kind of dresses he likes or thinks look attractive? Then you find yourself wasting money buying clothes to his liking and you don't know yourself anymore. The next day, a celebrity with a unique new style suddenly appears on TV and he suddenly finds that sexy and attractive too. *If he suddenly finds a gothic sexy, will you turn into that too? Oh boy..

9. they open up to you too fast

There is a difference when someone finally opens up to you–letting his guard down, and reveal all his life secrets and problems to you... on your first date for God's sake. If he does that, it shows that he does that to every girl and he is a troublesome guy who will give you a headache in the future.

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Have you done the checklist? Now it’s time to observe your guy more closely! Hihi. Some girls asked me "Is this matter? It's not like I am going to get married" every time I ask them to do homework with the checklist.

Exactly, it shouldn't matter! Cause the first date should be fun ways to explore human beings of the opposite sex. But the thing is, it starts to matter to us life and death when the moment we overwhelmed by the fantasy of the first date.

We forget the fun and we urge things to end with a happy ending (cinderella influence) by staying committed to someone you just met. I hope you will consider this as advice for you in the future. And I hope no more heartbreak or depression because of men anymore. x